I'm Beautiful, If Slightly Crazy

So, it’s been so long since I’ve posted here, and this is going to be completely unrelated to makeup – and more about music.

           

It’s the first day of February, but so far 2013 has been made, it’s started with a few ups and downs, but this past week has been the best week of my life. As a few of you know, as I have written a post about this before, but in the beginning of 2011 I found Leddra Chapman, whose songs mean so much to me but I’ll post that post here so you can read that first to get the jist of things, I don’t want to repeat myself. A lot of you will also probably know that on the 8^th of December I got Leddra’s lyrics tattooed on the top of my right thigh, which I am now going to explain, a lot of people have looked at me like I’m stupid when they find out that it’s lyrics from a song that they’ve never heard, by an artist they’ve never heard of – and to that I say if you find a song that you can relate to, that touched you the first time you heard it then who cares if no one else knows it. Plus, the lyrics ring true to me and everyone who knows me says exactly the same. I am little bit mental. If you haven’t seen my tattoo I’ll put in a few pictures, especially my favourite which is of Leddra herself with my leg, just casually hanging out with a massive queue of people standing to the side of us watching it all unfold (I’d also like to say a MASSIVE thank you to Jon who took the picture).

Bristol 26th January 2013 - Leddra and my leg

            So here’s the full story of the tattoo: Like I said, I found Leddra’s music in 2011 as I was casually perusing YouTube and stumbled across her appearance on This Morning, then the searching began, I found every song and downloaded her album within about a week. I’d been through a horrible break up that screwed me up a lot and her every song of hers that I listened to seemed to ease the pain. I caught up very quickly and became a fully fledged Leddy; in fact, I had a conversation with Martin on Wednesday night and he was surprised that I was actually relatively new to her music – I could be in MI5 with the extensive research I did. Then on the 22^nd of November my sister and I took the train up the London for her E.P launch at the Bull and Gate in Kentish Town. I was completely blown away by her talent, we both were. I’d been listening to her music for months, but seeing her live was such a different experience. She throws herself into the performance, and as good as her recording voice is, she’s 1000x times better when you can see how passionate she is about her lyrics and what it means to her. This was also the first time she’d performed “I Got Rhythm” and as soon as I heard it, that was it, it made me laugh out loud and it also made me feel content with all the shite that had been thrown at me that year. My sister also made me get a picture with her at the end of the night, I was far too nervous to go up and say hello but good job Jemma was there, because I would never have actually been able to speak if she hadn’t forced me too.

E.P Launch 22nd November 2011

            So, let’s skip a few months, I then went to see her on March 28th 2012 with my mum, sister and brother-in-law at the Borderline in London, and again it was an amazing gig. Lewis Watson also performed and we had a nice little chat because I was stupidly loud when cheering for him because people annoyed me by being disgustingly disrespectful and talking through his set. And this time, I wasn’t so shy so went up to speak to Leddra and also got her set list signed, which I have in a frame on my wall – I think I also have a picture of this, which I’ll try and find.

Set list from Borderline 28th March 2012 (the date at the top is wrong)

Leddra and I - Borderline 28th March 2012

            So again, let’s skip ahead to the 8^th of December 2012. I got the lyrics “I’m Beautiful, If Slightly Crazy” tattooed on me – for life. I have to live with this now forever. As I said up there, it’s from the song “I Got Rhythm”, now all the lyrics in that song are brilliant, but obviously I wasn’t going to get the whole thing, I draw the line at that. But I chose these because they were the ones that stuck with my from the very first time I’d heard the song. I am crazy, I do stupid things and I’m not perfect in any sense of the word, but in my own way I’m “beautiful” – now I’m not saying I’m beautiful to look at, but I’m alright, beautiful doesn’t always mean aesthetically pleasing. It can mean whatever you want it to mean, beauty can be found in everything, and in a way I’d say I’m beautiful because I am little bit crazy. Things also happened during 2011/2012 that made me feel shit, like I wasn’t really worth anything, that I wasn’t able to do the things I’d always wanted to do, but when I thought of that line it gave me a boost, and it would make me think “fuck it, do what you want” and I’m a bit sad to say it, but maybe a little bit of a “you only live once” attitude (which, I have another rant about, maybe I’ll talk about that separately) so, I’d already decided that I wanted these words to be part of my life, and to get them tattooed was the next step. I wanted it done on the 22^nd November 2012, but things got in the way so it was the December 8^th at around 12:30* that I sat in that chair, scared of what was about to happen (did I mention it is my first ever tattoo?) and had a great conversation with Mike at Spike of The Art in Plympton, I told him the meaning behind the lyrics, and then we just sat chatting about alternative medicines and monks – it was really interesting and took my mind off what was happening. When a tonne of needles are stabbing into your leg, injecting you with ink you’d think it would hurt, and my pain threshold is close to zero, but I survived, and if anything I found it quite therapeutic, I could have sat there for a few more hours.

About 30 minutes after it was finished, very red! And my thighs look massive

            On the 26^th January 2013 I went up the Bristol to see her play at The Louisiana, I also met some really awesome people like John, Roy and Catherine, Jon, Siobhan and Marion, and also had the absolute pleasure of hearing the awesome Lee Broderick, who I may have formed a cheeky crush on; its fine, go ahead and tell him, everyone else has embarrassed me in front of him anyway. At the end of the night, everyone queued up in the tiny venue for their chance to say hello to Leddra, and I got there, got my leg out in front of a fair few people and had Jon take a picture. That’s a standard day in my life it seems. The picture then got passed around facebook and twitter and I felt a bit famous for a while. Then on Wednesday I went all the way up to London again to see her at The Borderline, had a long chat with Lee, said hey to Leddra, got a free cider from someone, sang loudly, wooped loudly and had the best night of my life! I am a very happy, very lucky woman.

 I hate this picture - but me and Lee look sexy in hats.

            I’m so lucky to have met the people that mean the world to me in ways they could never have known, or anticipated. Leddra Chapman writes her songs, and she has touched the heart of so many people with lyrics that mean on thing to her, and so many different things to others. And because of her music, I’ve met other people that I can honestly call friends, and I’ve found new musicians that I can also relate to. Now, I’m going to stop writing because this is the longest blog post, and I’m about to start crying.

           

            Without coming across as a stalker, I do really appreciate everything your music has done for me, Leddra, and I am so happy that I’ve had the opportunity to meet you so many times and talk to you. So many people never have the opportunity to explain their stories to the people that inspire them, so thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

*For people who don’t know me, I have an odd capacity at remembering dates and times – think Rain Man – but not quite as intelligent